The Cage Is Smashed

The Cage Is Smashed

When my mother was sick with cancer, Guru told me to bring photos of me with him when I went to visit her. A couple of times she would come out of total unconsciousness to respond to a photo, then lapse into unconsciousness again. She seemed to perceive Guru's presence among the doctors and nurses as well. On my birthday, while we were on our Christmas holiday with Guru in Venezuela, my father phoned me to say that my mother had died. When Guru got the message, he called me into his room. As soon as I saw him, I burst into tears. He said, "Don't cry! I am your mother, I am your father!" I said, "Guru, I am not crying because of my mother; I am crying because of your compassion." Guru's very presence was a tidal wave of compassion. It was completely overwhelming. Guru told me not to go back for the funeral because I would only cry. I knew that he was doing everything for my mother on the spiritual plane, but I thought I would certainly be scolded and insulted by my father and brothers for not returning for the funeral. Surprisingly, it was not the case. Very gently my father said, "We are not asking you to come back." Again, I thought there would be a delayed reaction; perhaps on my return to New York they would insult me—but there was absolutely no criticism. Unknowingly, they had completely accepted Guru's divine wisdom. A few days after my mother's death, we were meditating on a broad patio of the hotel. Guru looked up into the vast blue sky and saw one lone bird flying. He said to me, "That is your mother's soul. The cage is smashed." Months later, when I thought about all the ups and downs preceding my mother's death, it dawned on me that she had probably been destined to die earlier, but that Guru had delayed her passing so that I would not be in New York. Guru said it was significant that she had died on the day she brought me into the world. Out of what would ordinarily been a tragic, emotional human experience, Guru made one of the most soulful and meaningful experiences of my spiritual life.

Nemi (New York)

Supreme, If It Is Your Will

Supreme, If It Is Your Will

When I was a child, I was very dynamic. I used to play the whole day. At that time I had a problem with my heart which I kept to myself. Nobody but the Supreme knew about it. Sometimes I had very severe pain on the left side of my chest. I couldn't breathe properly, so I had to stay calm and inhale slowly and carefully. The pain would then disappear after a few minutes and I would be able to continue my normal breathing. Once when I was 16 years old, the pain lasted for more than 10 minutes. I was alone and I couldn't breathe. I wasn't afraid, although I thought it might be the end of my life. When the pain disappeared, I started to breathe with great joy, slowly and carefully enjoying every breath. Suddenly, everything became peaceful and I heard a voice saying, "You will live 42 years." I was a boy and that was very far in the future. I forgot about it almost immediately. Years passed by and in 1983 I became Sri Chinmoy's disciple. In January 1991, Guru told me that he would give me my spiritual name the next time he would see me. During April Celebrations, I was very eager to get my name and felt extremely happy. As the end of the Celebrations approached, I started to feel a weakness. After the function when Sri Chinmoy played on 27 pianos, I felt a little better and went to bed. During the night I woke up to go to the bathroom and the feeling of weakness returned. Later I found myself lying on the floor. I didn't remember what had happened. A disciple from Austria was there and he called another disciple who was a doctor. The doctor told me that I should rest and everything would be better. When Jagattarini, my Centre leader, heard about this, she informed Guru immediately. Guru just smiled and said, "I know about that. Find a car and take him to the hospital." When I arrived at the hospital they found out that I had internal bleeding and wanted to operate. They asked me to sign a consent for an operation. My first thought was that I had to ask Guru, but the next moment I had a very strong feeling I should sign the consent, so I signed. Then I remembered the words that I had heard from the inner world when I was 16. I wasn't afraid. I just said, "Supreme, if it is Your Will, let it be." From that moment on I do not know what happened in the outer world, but in the inner world I heard Guru saying to me, "From now on, during the next 36 hours, you have to consciously breathe." I obeyed immediately. After I exhaled, I would often forget to inhale again. In those moments, I would hear a voice saying, "Breathe in, breathe in." The inner world wasn't pleasant at all. I was in some deserted surrounding. There were no leaves on the trees and the grass was gray. I was surrounded by wild animals that were trying to attack me. Again, I didn't feel fear and I bravely defended myself. At the same time I was sinking in the mud. When I was about to sink completely, I said again, "Supreme, if it is Your Will, then let it be." In the next moment, everything changed and I flew above the mud. When I reached the highest point I saw a beautiful place, unbelievably beautiful. This happened a few times. By repeating the Supreme's name, I flew from the mud to Heaven. After some time I found myself in a very beautiful place. Everything was like a fairy tale. My friends from childhood were there. I was in a small cottage whose walls were covered with drawers. I had to solve the puzzle. If I succeeded, I would get an award and that would be a beautiful girl. But I didn't want a beautiful girl. All I wanted was to search for God, so I decided to leave that place. As I left the cottage, something forced me to turn back and I saw a beautiful girl looking at me sadly. I said to myself, "Sorry, but I have to follow my own way." I turned and went forward, but suddenly I realised that the cottage represented my own body, the drawers were the states of my consciousness and the girl, my own soul. I realised that I had no need to search anywhere else for God. The operation was very difficult and lasted about 6 hours. The doctors told me that I was practically dead when I came to the hospital. They also told me that they had heard about Guru and that it was he who saved my life. They told me that it was a Higher Force. Just as Guru had promised, he gave me my spiritual name. I feel deepest gratitude for the new life Guru granted me, and I feel extremely sad when I don't use my time in a proper way for my spiritual development.

Tyagananda (Belgrade)

Rebirth Day

Rebirth Day

Years ago, when the the Sri Chinmoy Centre was smaller, we bought a small church in which to hold our meditations. We were painting and fixing up the church, when I suddenly fell very sick. I had to go home, and I was sick for weeks and weeks. Doctors were called in, but nobody could figure out what was wrong with me. On Guru's birthday there was a special function at the Church. All the disciples were there and I was carried in on a lawn chair and placed in the front. All I can remember is trying to fold my hands and looking at Guru and feeling quite strange. They immediately took me to the hospital, where I spent several weeks unconscious. It turned out that I had spinal meningitis. This is a very serious disease, and most people who get it either have permanent brain damage or die. During the course of my hospital stay, they did many tests. The X-rays showed that I had swelling in the brain and it looked like there was something seriously wrong. The doctors were very worried because they thought I had brain damage. My doctor was having problems of his own. It turned out that his daughter had died suddenly in a car accident. During the time the doctor was treating me, the X-rays suddenly cleared up and there were no brain problems. This rarely, if ever, happens when you have this disease. The doctor felt that it was in a way some compensation, that he had lost his daughter but was able to save me. I know it was Guru's loving compassion that saved my life. I am eternally grateful to him for allowing me to stay with him on earth. Now I feel Guru's birthday is my rebirth day.

Chetana (New York)

Pranam

"Pranam"

On Christmas Day 1984, I received a phone call from Kailash. He was on holiday with Sri Chinmoy in Madrid, along with many disciples, including my brother Andre. Kailash told me that my brother had been seriously injured in a car accident, and had been hit on the left part of his head. Kailash said that a member of the family should come immediately because my brother's life was in danger. I took the next plane for Madrid, after telling my parents the Christmas surprise. When I arrived, I went first to the hall where Guru was holding the functions. Guru was meditating with a large group of disciples, holding a white flower in his hands. After the meditation, he gave the flower to me and told me to put it on my brother's head; he said there was a healing power in it. Guru said that my brother's soul had come to him, asking for permission to leave the body. The soul was afraid to remain in a disabled body. Guru assured the soul that my brother would be fine and very happy again, and thus he convinced the soul to stay. The next day in the hospital, the doctor who was in charge of the neurology section explained the situation to me and examined my brother's state. Besides some broken bones and open wounds, there was brain damage clearly visible in the X-ray. The swelling of the brain inside the head suppressed the functioning of important centres and caused loss of consciousness. My brother was in a deep state of coma—he would not respond to someone calling his name, touching him or even pricking him with a needle. Unlike Guru, the doctor could not tell the future of my brother. Reasonably enough, he said that it is possible that my brother would never regain consciousness and, even if he did, he was likely to be retarded. Shortly after that, Guru came to the hospital and entered my brother's room in the intensive care section. Only a few nurses were present besides Guru and myself. Guru stood in front of my brother's bed and invoked the Supreme. Out of his deep coma, my brother sat up in his bed and started to sing. With a clear, loud and beautiful voice, he sang the word "pranam" for about five minutes. The nurses were shocked and gathered around his bed; in Spanish they repeated that he was singing. I felt joy and knew that Guru had everything under perfect control. One week later my brother opened his eyes and showed the first signs of consciousness. Within a few months he recovered enough to leave the hospital. Guru then gave him his spiritual name, Mrittunjoy, which means, "The God-seeker whose aspiration-power has conquered ignorance-death- force." Neither my brother nor I knew what "pranam" meant. Guru explained that Mrittunjoy's soul had recognised the Supreme and sang "pranam," which means "I bow to Thee."

Suhriday (Athens, Greece)

Oneness-Depth, Gratitude-Height

Oneness-Depth, Gratitude-Height

My mother left the body on March 4th, 1987. I was very close to her and grieved for a long time until I was just numb inside. I was happy at the time of her passing that she was released from physical suffering, and Guru consoled me outwardly and inwardly. But it was like part of my being had died; I couldn't feel anything. Eight months later I came across a file of sympathy cards that I had saved. When I began reading the loving memories people shared of my mother, I started weeping. I cried and cried until I was exhausted. It was an overwhelming emotional tide, after which all I could do was go to sleep. I didn't tell anyone why I was sad the next day. That evening Guru called the Seattle Centre, where I was at the time, in honour of the Centre's anniversary. He spoke to everyone individually. The first thing he said to me when I got on the phone was, "Good girl, you can see your mother smiling and glowing inside your Guru's heart." At that moment, I realised Guru's oneness-depth. Someday I hope to realise my gratitude-height.

Pipasa (New York)

Inside His Infinite Heart

Inside His Infinite Heart

In 1994, which was a terrible year as Guru had predicted, I had an "alternative" medical pain treatment, and after a couple of minutes I found myself losing consciousness—which was not supposed to happen. I was very frightened, and at the same time I thought, "Great—it's 1994 and now I'm going to die!" I held up my hand and, looking at Guru's Transcendental picture on my ring, started repeating "Supreme" as fast as possible, very loudly. I desperately wanted to remain conscious. As I fell back on the table where I was being treated, I shouted at the person who had done me this favour to get ice and put it on my forehead. He himself seemed perturbed, and that was not a good sign! He said there was no ice, so I said to get a pack of frozen vegetables out of the freezer and put it on my forehead. God alone knows how I thought of telling him that! Guru was clearly on the case. Out came the frozen vegetables, and there I lay, chanting and screaming "Supreme" in between sobs and tears, with an icy pack of peas and carrots on my head! Finally I started to come around, and I phoned a disciple to give a message to Guru and to come and get me, since I could not possibly drive home. Guru invited me to come to his house, and I did, in my disheveled state. Guru did not say anything when I passed before him at the end of the night. This was a Monday, and on Wednesday night I offered flowers to Guru with a card expressing my gratitude to him for saving me. I really felt I could have died, particularly as it was 1994, and I had already broken my ankle (that was another of Guru's repairs). At the end of the meditation, Guru picked up my flower arrangement, held it to his heart and requested that a photograph be taken as he meditated very seriously. In silence he had done everything to keep me on earth inside his infinite heart.

Nemi (New York)

He Is So Beautiful

He Is So Beautiful

About three years ago, my mother was diagnosed with a very serious form of cancer that was quickly spreading. To be certain, she went for the opinion of three prominent cancer specialists in Puerto Rico. All of them concurred: she definitely had a serious form of cancer. I became increasingly worried—I love my mother dearly and her suffering and imminent death were torturing my heart. Over the years I have met excellent physicians and naturopaths who have been very successful in treating cancer as well as other so-called "incurable" diseases. It was my hope to bring my mother to New York for such treatment. Her main physician told her that she needed radiation, chemotherapy and most definitely surgery. I asked my mother to please hold off with all those therapies until I could consult with the doctor I had in mind, and to send me copies of her records. When I read her blood analysis, panic struck me hard, for it became real that my mother was very sick. I had not wanted to tell Guru anything until I had all the information, but now pressure was mounting, and my mother was scheduled for surgery within a few weeks. Finally, I wrote Guru a letter explaining everything. I told him that I love my mother very much and that I was not ready to lose her, but I also told him that I was praying for God's Victory in whatever form it would express itself. Guru's reply came immediately. "Ask her to please postpone the surgery for one month." I immediately telephoned my mother and pleaded with her to please listen and follow Guru's advice. She agreed. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have a cousin who is a very prominent doctor, and he argued that the surgery could not be delayed. He had all the members of my family in Puerto Rico on his side and they pressured my mother to concede. I was devastated. I would call her every day in tears and beg her. My poor mother was confused and frightened. She really wanted to please me by listening to Guru's advice, but the family pressure was too much for her. So I told her, "Do what you feel you need to do. I love you and will support any decision you take." This brought her a sense of peace, and she decided to go ahead with the surgery. The doctor wanted to operate as soon as possible, since he was scheduled to be on board a cruise ship for a three-week vacation. But God had a better plan. My mother was ready to go for surgery in two days, but there were no beds available for about two weeks in any of the hospitals where this particular doctor could practise. Since he was going away for three weeks, the surgery had to be postponed for one month. One month later, when the doctor came back from his vacation, more tests were done before the surgery. There was no evidence of cancer, not a trace, as if it never happened. The doctors said that all along they must have had the wrong records, the records of another patient. God and Guru alone know what happened. My mother and family are extremely grateful to Guru and God for this incredible miracle. The other miracle is that whenever my mother sees Guru, she becomes a beautiful child swimming in tears of joy and gratitude. She says, "He is so beautiful!"

Sevananda (Puerto Rico)

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